A Vietnam Recount
“Wouldn’t it be crazy if we all travelled to Vietnam and did a motorbike road trip?”
That was the initial idea that led to Ben, Sante Tessa and I meeting at Sydney airport bound for Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. The tail to tip motorbike road trip was scaled down but the original goal still remained. We would spend 18 days meandering up towards Hanoi and spending a handful of days in places recommended by friends who’d been there before.
We were travelling ultralight, max 7kg and it was a competition for who was lightest with Ben being lightest at 4.8, Tessa at 5 Sante at 6 and me at 7.5kg … I blame the books and snacks.
The flight was spent writing, reading, mopping the floor of some Pokemon gyms. Once we landed and the outdoor staircase was connected, the doors opened up and the humidity flooded the craft… I think we’re here.
Ho Chi Minh
On our first night in Vietnam we were introduced to Ho Chi Min’s nightlife, huge amounts of neons, lasers, music, dancing models and security guards begging you to buy a drink. Why are there so many chairs? Why is everyone sitting? Are these night clubs or grandad’s chess club? As much as we’d love to investigate and probably be swindled we returned to the hostel instead.
The next two days were filled with tours wanding around the city, exploring the various coffee styles, trying our hand at bartering at Cao Ben Than Markets and going on a tour to the mekong river.
We visited the remembrance museum which displayed a large amount of US military assets that were abandoned when they evacuated in 1973. The main display however were the tiger cages, the horrific prison torture for political prisoners. With a combination of uncomfortable sitting/lying positions, exposure to the harsh sun, overcrowding, having gravel/lime/other irritant dumped on them and horrific beatings for any slight disturbance was confronting. The experience was extremely sobering and the photo galleries of the effects of agent orange, napalm and bombings compounded that.
Hoi An
After our first overnight train trip we arrived in Hoi An, a juxtaposed coastal town that has its tightly woven streets of historic yellow cladded buildings up against the glamorous but generic beach resorts that have extended themselves south from the modernised city of Da Nang.
I’ve been invited to 2 weddings next year and I thought it would be a great opportunity to get a tailored suit for myself which Hoi An is renowned for. Typically I’m quite poor in a rich country, however that makes me quite rich, in a poor country! I was gonna take full advantage of that. I really enjoyed the process of comparing colours of the different materials and discussing the various style choices with my tailor, Lee. I settled on a dark green Cashmere/cotton blend suit: mid fit, peaked lapel, double button, double vented. My arm was also twisted with the classic Vietnamese proverb “special discount, special discount!” which led to a tan linen/cotton blend suit but with a notched lapel instead (if you feel silly for not knowing what that is… you should be).
The whole process took 3 days to complete, from sizing, adjusting and then delivery which only needed my presence for at most an hour. The rest of our time was spent doing more tours such as visiting the My Son Sanctuary, an ancient Hindu temple complex dating back to 1300 AD that used a unique brick construction technique that still stumps archaeologists for they have never been able to replicate the same result.
Sante and Tessa finally got their beach time. Ben and I rented 50cc scooters and the girls jumped on the back to ride toward those glamorous beach resorts for some sunset surf. The water was the perfect refreshing temperature, the waves mild and the soft sand was mostly garbageless. The sky transitioned from a pastel blue, to orange to magenta and the glowing moon rose high and full for the up and coming lantern festival that night.
We wandered through the festival feeding ourselves with various snacks and delights from the countless food vendors that gathered. The lights, the smells and the music created a beautiful atmosphere in the town and made for some interesting photo opportunities with some long exposure shots.
We finished off Hoi An with a climb up Marble Mountain which featured lots of stairs and beautiful buddhist monasteries that were built in and around the marble caves that are inside the mountain. We had a clear day and it allowed us to see the full width of the beach, stretching from Hoi An to De Nang.
Hanoi
We had our second overnight train trip when we travelled to Hanoi which was a much better experience. Our time in the capital would be short however only spending a night there as we needed to travel to Ha Giang the next day. Before we travelled out to find the abandoned Hanoi F1 circuit we needed race fuel. We asked the hostel receptionist, “Where’s a good place to eat?”
“Oh, well, there’s a nice Pho place around the corner…” he replied.
The “nice pho place” had two Michelin Star plaques at the entrance and served a delicate soup with tender beef briskets, shallots and noodles al dente… it existence in the bowl lasted a similar time to Hanoi on the f1 calendar.
Ha Giang
This is where Ben and I would split from Tessa and Sante. We were all doing the loop but just differently. The girls didn’t want to ride bikes as they’d much prefer to sit on the back and give their full attention to the scenery, so they went with a tour. Ben and I however thoroughly enjoyed the bikes in Hoi An and the thought of completing the loop ourselves was an exciting challenge and gave us a bit more freedom for our hiking desires.
Most hostels rent bikes in Ha Giang, however it’s illegal to ride without a licence (which neither Ben nor I had). This is where the loophole of “pays to play” arises in Vietnam. Yes there’s a 2 million dong fine if you’re caught but converted it’s a mere $120aud… and they won’t find you for another 7 days once paid. This has led to a booming tourism industry in the remote north and brought a lot of money to the minority groups of the area. However, it’s been brought on by the inexperienced, unlicensed foreigners who crowd the narrow roads and are at risk of major injury or death, to themselves and the locals…
But who cares! The entire journey was spectacular, life changing and cheap as chips!
The Loop
Day 1: Ben and I secured some semi-auto (no clutch) 110cc Honda Waves and hit the open road! We spent our first couple of kilometers getting used to the bikes, the hills, the corners and the rough terrain. We explored a cave and had our first run in with the cops. We played it cool, paid the fine and we were back cruising. Our first homestay run by a young family, was perched on a cliff with a great sunset view over the valley for the. For dinner we had noodles and ban Minh for brekky.
Day 2: We woke with moody clouds for a moody scenery. The roads were damp which added a new challenge but we were getting the groove and it was some of the best riding we’d done. We had the surreal experience of seeing our first rice terraces. We met some fellow riders from Sydney and we would bump into them a few more times over the following days. We visited the Hmong Palace and observed how the architecture changed as we climbed higher and the temperature got colder. We had a poor experience with our 2nd hostel in Lūng Cú with communication and organisation issues, regardless of the Google Translate. That night we had a hot pot dinner and noodles for breakfast.
Day 3: We went to the most northern point of Vietnam and saw China across a massive canyon. We bumped into the Sydney boys again and hiked through the village and up over the Ma Pi Leng Pass (skywalk trail) north of Mao Vac that overlooked more massive canyons. It was the best panorama of the trip. We arrived at the very manicured Mao Vac homestay that looked more like a gated resort than someone’s house. There was BBQ for dinner and more brekky noodles.
Day 4: Rode through the clouds into the centre of the loop where we crested a hill and saw a French fort ruin. Lots of kids were shouting, “Hello!” And trying to get hi-fives (children nearly killed by Ben: 2, Rory: 0 …I never miss). We arrived in Du Gia, hiked through another village to a waterfall for a swim. We got terribly lost trying to find the homestay which was an actual house! We had a smorgasbord dinner with the family and spent the night passing questions back and forth through Google Translate. There were pancakes for breakfast!
Day 5: These were the worst roads we’ve had the whole trip. Half the journey was spent on crumbling concrete or rocky dirt (kept questioning if we were going the right way). The other half of the ride however, was the exact opposite with the smoothest mountain roads! We got up at a good speed and came across more police who thought we hadn’t paid the fine yet. We arrived back in Ha Giang farewelling the bike and trip. It was an emotional goodbye. We boarded a bus back to Hanoi to see the girls. I want to buy a motorcycle now.
Cat Ba
It was gonna be a quick turn around in Hanoi for Ben and I. We got to the hostel around midnight and needed to get ourselves ready for a 9am bus to Cat Ba, our last destination for our Vietnam trip. We got reunited with the girls and spent our time laying in bed telling stories of our adventures.
Cat Ba is an Island south of the popular Ha Long Bay. It’s said to be less popular and just as beautiful as its larger rival. The Buffalo Hostel we were staying at was large and bustling with people, 150cc scooters available for rent and had many free activities planned for that evening such as BBQ and a bar crawl. It was going to be a good evening! Before that we grabbed the bikes, hunted for some coffee and a vantage spot for views of the island. It ended up being a giant ladder that climbed an overgrown spire and overlooked the harbour and forest. Finally we gave ourselves a little treat before the bbq, a full body massage to work out all the motorbike tension (I’ve always wanted a tiny asian woman to walk all over me 😉).
The BBQ was pretty minimal, just tiny skewers and a lot of sides and the massage must have really dehydrated us as the hangover after the crawl kept me horizontal for most of the day. We needed to rally though! It was our last full day in Vietnam and we gotta get into this bay!
If you’re suffering from headaches, horizontal-ness and symptoms of sloth-e-titus you should talk to your doctor about BANH MIE™. Two doses a day and you will surely improve your verticalness, masculine/feminine vigor and give you the lasting feeling of two free periods before the end of the school day!
There was a lot of miscommunication about the boat activities. The receptionist and a tour guide I called both told me snorkeling, kayaking and photo-plankton were all banned by the authorities since the typhoon that struck a few months ago. However the tours still advertised these activities? It seems we forgot our lessons from Ha Giang and our observations from the cities, the laws are loosely followed and the Loophole is on par with the Dong. What they say, isn’t what they do.
We boarded the sunset cruise expecting just that, a cruise. However we quickly realised that no, the kayaking is still going ahead along with the plankton and snorkelling. Everything was acting normal and we were caught a little under prepared.
Fortunately we made do with what we had. We floated on the kayaks and because the boat has spare towels, some of us were able to go for a swim.
Bus, Boat, Bus, Automobile, Plane, Plane, Plane – Going home
It was back to Hanoi for our domestic flight to Ho Chi Min. We booked these Vietjet tickets back in Wanaka and they were really cheap, around $90nzd for a 2hr flight arriving 3hrs before our Jetstar flight for Sydney. Perfect! What could go wrong!
Half way through our trip in Hoi An I came across a reddit post warning people of Vietjet saying that they are always delayed, possibly on purpose to ensure the plane is full and/or avoid insurance refunds or what-not… What could go wrong? We printed out our tickets and our 3:20 pm flight was now 6:20 pm … problem. We talked to the service desk about it and they were able to put us on an earlier flight, 3:40 pm… Solution! But when it came time to board the doors stayed closed and no one moved… for another 40min. We wouldn’t take off till it was 5 o’clock. Problem, our 3hr window is now looking more like an hour and a half. Our transfer was a little more complicated too as it wasn’t a pre scheduled connecting flight. We would need to exit the domestic and file through the international check in and security ourselves, and we all know Vietnam’s organisation skills…
Land, wifi, orientate, exit, enter, check in (no online check in, damn!) line up, check in, security, gate check, orientate, gate hunt, (toilet break), gate.
“Just in time guys! You’re our last passengers.” Isn’t that what the PA system is for to gather the stragglers? Sit, relax, snooze.
Dream it, Believe it, Achieve it (ask your doctor about it…)
Conclusion
From an idea joked about on the couch to a fully fleshed out trip with goals and requirements, it’s amazing to see what became of it. Vietnam has never been a country of interest to me but I can’t pass up an opportunity to travel with friends in an area unknown. The journey was full of great opportunities and challenges that have made great memories and I look forward to the next great adventure with Ben, Sante and Tessa, whether we’re together or separate. I know it’s gonna be a lot of fun!
I want to buy a motorcycle.